05 June 2012

If I Was President*

(* The most non-political post you'll ever read.)

If I was president, I would:
  • Make it legal to shoot out the tires of any vehicle that merges at the last minute on the highway.
  • Make it illegal to remake classic movies (Footloose, I'm looking at you).
  • Make it illegal to continue Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy when Pat Sajak, Vanna White and Alex Trebek retire.
  • Ban over-used phrases, including, but not limited to, 'at the end of the day', 'net it out' and 'we'll get there'.
  • Allow people to test out of grad school.
  • Require teenagers to take a year off after high school, before attending college, to travel or play video games.
  • Require everyone to read one book a year (I don't care if it's Dr. Seuss).
  • Require employers to declare the first nice day of the year a paid holiday and send their peeps home.
  • Enforce the 'if you're gonna eat a cookie in front of me, you better have enough to share' rule.
  • Erase Bing from the Internet.
  • Be able to freeze time like that girl from that 80s TV show (I would use this power for evil, er, good).
  • Make Dr Pepper an acceptable breakfast drink.
What would you do if you were president?


Wrestling Kitties said...

Um, you SO have my vote Madam President!!!

I agree with EVERYTHING you stand for and support it all.

I would:

- make it required that you must spell words properly in text messages, facebook statuses, twitter and any other social media site...u kno, b4 i loooose my mindz!

- Illegal to bother people during their lunch even if they see them sitting at their desk in their cubicle.

- Ban all CW TV shows except Supernatural and bring back Moonlight and Firefly.

- Move ALL noisy eaters, slurpers, and people who never stop whistling to a secluded island until they eat quietly (sorry babe, but your soup slurping must stop or else!!)

(I probably have more!!! heehee)

Iris Took said...

You have my vote!

My mom says that family values are lost and that she wants to champion for a 4 day work week so we can spend more time at home on the weekends.