13 July 2011

I Don't Get It


I am not a religious person. I have beliefs (I strongly believe in karma, for example) and definitely consider myself spiritual, but when it comes to church and established religion, I have some issues. I consciously work on these issues. I ask questions, seek answers and make informed decisions. But I'm still searching. In the meantime, I find peace and comfort in nature and the universe.

One of the things I will never understand is God's 'plan'. This 'it happened for a reason' nonsense. I'd love for you to tell me why my mom died 10 years ago. Or why my cousin died - on his way to church - in front of his family. Or why, yesterday, a family member lost her 5-day-old son.

All the scripture in the world hasn't been able to answer these questions for me. I know I may never know why these things happened. I know I'm being 'selfish'. I know that having faith doesn't mean bad things won't happen. Having faith is supposed to mean that you know God is by your side. But I'm not feeling that right now.

Honestly, I'm thinking that 'God's plan' is something we invented to keep ourselves sane. It's not working today.

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