10 October 2007

It's Funny 'Cause it's True

Due to increasing product liability litigations, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels immediately be placed on all varieties of alcohol.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a doof.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.*

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex‑lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing " WITH " you.

* But I do sing better when I'm drinking. Seriously.

2 comments:

wrestling kitties said...

HAHAHAHA! Awesome!

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think that you are super girl and it is ok for your friend to punch you in the arm 10 times as hard as they can b/c it does not hurt and it will not leave a mark.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think that to calm your "upset sstomach" all you have to do is sing while laying down on a bathroom floor with your feet on the toilet.

....so I have heard ;-)

Iris Took said...

You know, so many people said to me while I was in collge, "You will grow out of this phase." Turns out, drinking is still just as much fun.

Viva tequila!